Pressdog.com

Bud's Bowl

By Bill Zahren
(Posted 01/28/01)

The pressdog.com insiders have spoken. The Super Bowl is Bud time.

Bud and Bud Light Super Bowl commercials dominated an informal poll of loyal pressdog.com readers. I almost peed when Barry Gordy-esque Cedric opened his groove-thing-shaken Bud Light in the face of his waif-like date. (Four hyphens, one sentence, striking.)

Oh, that’s the stuff. “It was just plain fun and funny!!!” said pressdog.com homey and design giant Kathy from tony Sioux City, Iowa. That’s a triple exclamation point funny, baby. Tough to beat that. You gotta wonder how many times the woman had to get nailed in the face with a beer while making that ad. Probably roughly 30. Hope she’s getting residuals out of the deal.

In a virtual dead heat with Cedric was the Whassssaaaaaahhhhh self parody, featuring the white button-downs doing their best with it, but coming up with “What are YOU doing?” Oh, it struck a chord with many, many readers. Said Chuck from suburban Minneapolis: “I nearly wet myself.”

Advertising is all about causing spontaneous bladder voiding. Making fun of those among us who fixate on the stock ticker yet try to be hip is a good way to cause that magic tinkle. “What are you doing? Watching the market recap and having an import, what are YOU doing?” Classic. Tim, also from upscale Sioux City, Iowa, put it well: “As a culturally obtuse white guy, I can relate. Word to your mailman.” Word is bond, Bro.

Speaking of white men, Bob “Mr. Comedy” Dole got some recognition from the dozen or so die-hard p-dog readers. “And I thought ‘bravo!!’ [note the double exclamation points] for Pepsi using an old fart like Bob Dole, and making a Viagra joke to sell soda,” said Leslie, a certified, mostly-black-wearing hipster from New York City. “It beats the usual babes in bikinis, cute polar bears and sensitive spots using 8-year-old boys with stars in their eyes glaring with adoration at their sport stars. And I didn’t miss any Chihuahuas or sock puppets.”

Ease up there, Leslie. Let’s not get carried away dissing the bikini babes. After watching a game that featured a record number of punts and as much excitement as a planting 300 acres of soybeans, I could have used some babetude. But I’m with you on the Chihuahua.

The now-defunct pets.com sock puppet did get a cameo in an e-trade commercial featuring a chimp touring the devastated dot-coms. Arj, also from tony Sioux City, called the ad “brilliant” while Rhonda from Omaha said it was “a little harsh.” People lost their jobs and all that. Hey, comedy is rough business there, Sparky.

Arj was kind enough to bring up the fact that the Ravens would have blown out my Vikings 75-0. Thanks for being there for me, Arj, but it wouldn’t have been that close.

Rhonda brought up another good point. What the hell does Accenture do? They had a trillion spots and we’re still not sure, other than they are the former Anderson Consulting. Well! That cleared it all up. Now I got it. Something about things are only starting or something. Nice.

Nice mention from people who are actually warm and emotional, that would be Paul and Kathy, who gave a shout out to Cingular’s ad featuring an artist with cerebral palsy. “The advertisement was inspirational, touching and shows that we are all capable of being who and what we want to be despite our handicaps or the attitude of others,” Paul said.

Striking.

As for the game coverage, bad reviews. CBS’ Eyevision switch around camera thing was basically a gimmick looking for a use. Said Tim, a smart-ass of considerable acclaim (and I say that as a compliment): “The general consensus was that the panoramic camera angle Matrix-style shots were waaaay overhyped and waaaay unimpressive. To quote fellow watcher, Jerry: ‘This does not appear to be the future of sports broadcasting.’” Here’s hoping Jerry is right and this goes the way of the Fox Trax glowing puck in hockey.

Rhonda also dissed and dismissed “completely lame commentators.” Got to go with you on that one. Like when former QB Phil Sims proposed -- get ready for the shock -- Ravens quarterback Trent Dilfer as MVP. HELLLLLOOOOOO. The guy threw for 158 yards. Can we talk here? He played an important role, but, ah, MVP? Cooler heads prevailed and linebacker Ray Lewis MVP. Makes sense since defense won the game for them. Phil. Snap out of it.

Art guy Brian, again from Sioux City, joined Rhonda in panning the half time show. Bad. Aerosmith must have gotten a ton of cash to do it. Brian instead switched over to the FX channel for an AFC-NFC toughman championship at half time. “What would you rather do at halftime? Watch the boy bands on the field or see two guys beat the crap out of each other?” quoted Brian. A little timer bug on the show let him know when to turn back over for the game. Sweet.

Finally, some took the high road and didn’t watch at all. “My lovely daughter and I boycotted the entire Super Bowl event, choosing instead to watch the family classic movie ‘Babe,’” said Barb from Kansas City. “I probably expended approximately the same amount of intellectual energy watching the movie.” That Babe! What an actor.

Thanks to everyone who responded to the pressdog.com survey. Word to your mailmen.

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