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I'm
Not Running for President
By
Bill Zahren
(Posted 10/08/04)
(Note: I wrote a version of this in 2000 and, sadly, nothing
has changed.)
After long minutes of contemplation and discussions with
my groggy family this morning, I've decided I will not seek,
nor will I accept, nomination to be the President of the United
States.
I though I had a shot -- son of an auto mechanic (almost
as good as son of a mill worker) from tiny Lake Park, Iowa
(almost as good as "a place called Hope.") I've balanced my
checkbook every month for about 10 years in a row and I have
absolutely NO Congressional voting or military service record
attack. Maybe a Howard-Deanish, Internet-based, grassroots
campaign launched from my home in West Des Moines, Iowa, could
work.
There are lots of perks to being prez. You can do a lot of
good (giving aid to those in need) or you can make a lot of
great friends (giving money to those who already have a lot).
And the prospect of never having a flight delayed or having
to be "wanded" at the airport for four years all by itself
makes me tempted to run.
But, in the final analysis, I decided against it because,
no offense, the president's bosses are extremely frightening.
The President's employer's spending priorities are bizarre.
Even the poorest American is obscenely rich by world standards.
If it gives us pleasure, we Americans spend lavishly on it.
Otherwise, forgettaboudit. Americans will buy a $45,000 SUV,
drop $17,000 on a boat and spend $2,000 on a golf weekend
yet complain about ponying up $1,500 a year for their children's
education.
We're cool with dropping $123 on a concert ticket or $69
on a bottle of single-malt Scotch, yet get nasty over paying
another 1 cent per dollar in sales tax to replace schools
that were constructed during the Taft administration. The
other day a guy who owns two BMWs was complaining about his
incredible tax burden. I wept so hard I needed intravenous
rehydration.
The President's employer has no grasp of the cost/benefit
theory. The American majority has its "value equation"
way out of whack when it comes to taxes. I dial 9-1-1 and
the police, fire and ambulance people come charging over.
I drive all over on excellent roads. I send my kids to safe,
warm public schools filled with dedicated, caring teachers.
If my kids need special help in school, they get it for free.
The cash for all those things and so much more doesn't come
from the public service fairy. I'm not on fire to pay taxes,
but I'm at least intelligent enough to consider what I get
for the money before complaining too loudly. As George Will
said in a speech right here in Des Moines, Americans want
luxury government service at cut-rate prices. To quote George
Bush the First, "Not gonna happen."
Witness the current administration, allegedly fiscally conservative
and in love with accountability. Not one dollar of federal
cash can be spent without GOP approval. Yet, despite $400
billion deficits, it's somehow not the Republicans' responsibility.
No worries, Americans don't care anyway. As long as those
government cash and goodies continue to arrive.
The President's employer is looking for yes-men and yes-women.
Everyone says they want a candidate who tells it like it is,
but most everyone lies. We really want to hear how we'll get
$10,000 in services for $100 in taxes. You think a candidate
who got up and said, "If we have massive tax cuts we're going
to also have massive service cuts or enormous deficits" would
get elected? Not.
I don't blame politicians for not trying a truth strategy.
Jimmy Carter truthfully said, "We're suffering from a national
malaise" and we booted him. In 1984 Fritz Mondale tried the
truth again, telling America that taxes would go up no matter
who was elected. He was rewarded with a landslide loss. Ronald
Reagan won -- and raised taxes.
The President's employer is self-centered. Let's be
honest -- foreign policy is all well and good, but when the
voting curtain closes, Americans vote their wallets. Remember
the words of two opposite presidents who hit on the same thing:
Bill Clinton: "It's the economy, stupid" and Ronald Reagan,
"Are you better off today than you were four years ago?" Today
we say a lot of stuff about Iraq -- and mean a lot of it --
but unless American body bags start coming home at about 100
a day or he "war" starts demanding public sacrifice (as in,
God forbid, a tax hike to pay for it), the President's employer
votes for whoever delivers the economic goods.
That's one scary employer. Maybe the President's employers
should spend a little time looking at what kind of bosses
they are while they're sizing up the job candidates. Until
we do, we'll continue to get applicants who tell us what we
want to hear, not what we need to know.
© 2004 Bill Zahren
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